Blaming kids is not right and easy. And I will also not do it, but have you experienced today’s kids and their thinking about money? We see these kids burning stashes of money (obviously parents) and often living alone in their own world. Are these kids wrong somewhere or fault lies within us? Is it gods will or we could have done something? What’s wrong with these kids when it comes to money?
A few days ago we wrote about “Whats Wrong with Indian Parents when it Comes to Money?”
Kids only know one goddess Laxmi – The ATM machine. They know that whenever they or family requires money, the ATM rescues. It just distributes money – to anyone, anytime. The connection between the hard work put by parents to earn salary or income and ATM machine is absent. Today’s kids lack value for money as they have a lot.
They have never been hungry, without a dress or cash. So they do not understand that money is an essential thing. For them, it’s like – naturally available thing.
Recently, one of my friend’s daughter of 9 years visited us for a week. The daughter was so pampered kid that after her visit, I had to face a lot of questions from my kids and some from my wife too.
Friend’s daughter Khushi, was on a special fast. When she traveled all she ate was fast food and chips, confectionary items!!! My daughter tried to preach her the values of home made Indian food but she said everyone in foreign countries lives on what she is eating. No one died, so logical… that my daughter had to confirm from me what she said.
Khushi was glued to her I-pad mini and she had all latest movies, with no parental control nothing. My daughter, who is 10, literally asked me, why am I still loading Barbie or animated movies for her in our home theater? She has a Tablet of her own but wanted to deal with it herself (Read unlimited time with tablet or PC with access to all movies, youtube, and games)!!! Now my logics were getting an explosion.
But best was still to come. Finally after seeing them (kids) eat outside food for 2-3 days I vetoed, that I won’t order more food. The kid made a scene but I was adamant. Finally, my wife took me to a secluded corner and reminded me that they also treated and fulfilled our kids wishes when we visited them. So it’s our duty to pay back. (But my kids visited for just 2-3 hours) My mind is still recovering from these logics.
A kid can disrupt an entire lifetime learning. But was it kids fault?
But this is the generation we are going to see. Why is this happening around us? Where are we lacking in parenting?
Answer is just one simple sentence
“We are not spending time with our kids”
We are just busy with our job, social circles, gadgets, demanding jobs, late nights that kids are having a hard time. They need answers and before that some time to form questions and scenarios.
This is what I think we should do:
-Don’t slog yourself, speak truth, but without scaring: We want to spare our child from hardship and worry, but it’s important not to say things are great when they’re clearly not. A child can become worried if his or her parents reveal extreme fear about money concerns. Make it a kind, understanding conversation, listen for clues, and leave time for questions.
-Discuss Things Agewise: Younger kids generally have less knowledge and experience to process what’s going on. Tell kids what they need to know, but don’t overload them with information. It is the information that is important, so don’t try to make them understand everything.
-Introduce and make them learn money lessons: Reinforce smart spending and savings behavior no matter what the child’s age. However old they are, kids should get regular lessons in the relationship between money and the things in their life. Introduce terms like Budget, Bank Accounts, Emergency Fund, Insurance, Savings, the impact of Advertisements etc as per their age.
-Spending: This is the most neglected area by parents. When you purchase something to make sure the reason and research behind that purchase. Tell them how you compare brands and decide to buy. How you prepare yourself by saving money. Tell them pitfalls of debt and credit cards.
-Savings & Investments: Show kids how to spend within their means. Let kids make their own purchasing mistakes. Encourage them to set goals. Share them the secrets of compounding, early investing and diversification. Few parents have stopped giving pocket allowances and they only give commissions to make kid know the value of money earned.
-Encourage them to make a mark for themselves: Many parents have earned so much that they have made the kid’s life financially secured even when he grows up. Especially in families with business, the kid is discouraged to work or have hobbies as he has to manage the family business. Don’t make a replica of yourself or do what you have endured in your childhood. Give your kid some space and let his excel.
And at last a word from inside
You begin by seeing parenting as a joyful experience for your child, instead of a burden. All children want to see themselves as response-able – powerful and able to respond to what needs to be done. They need this for their self-esteem, and for their lives to have a meaning. Children don’t want just to be told, ordered or directed. They need, like the rest of us, to feel like they matter to the world like their lives make a positive contribution.
So, you don’t really need to teach them to handle themselves responsibly in the world; you just need to teach them that they have the power to contribute positively and to relate to them so that they want to do so.
Share your two cents on this topic in the below comments section.
