How to Talk About Money With Your Spouse

Do you know how to talk about money with your spouse ? Money is one of the reasons couples fight often.

Yet it remains one of the least discussed points between couples. It is common knowledge that something that you don’t discuss with your better half will lead to confusion and misunderstanding. Given that, each one of us ought to learn how to talk about money with our spouses.

Don’t know where to begin ? Try these simple steps. It will help you in your overall financial planning.

Understand what money means to your spouse

In my opinion, most individuals miss out on trying to understand what money actually means to an individual.  They think that the husband or wife should accept their concept of money but that can never be possible.

An individual coming from a middle class family will want to see money as a means of his future financial goals while someone from a rich background will see money as a means of lifestyle spending. It is these individuals that run into problems when they begin to live under the same roof.

It is imperative that both the husband and wife understand what money means to each person. They will then understand better why financial decisions are being taken by the individual leading to less confusion and fights.

How to talk about money with your Spouse – be transparent with each other

In households where both the spouses are working, there will always be a difference of salary, spending and saving habits. This leads to confusion around who is spending and saving how much. The moment one moves to micro management of bank statements, distrust creeps in. Your spouse then begins to hide spends which you could possibly be upset with.

It is much safer for the individuals to talk in advance about how much per month each will splurge, spend and save. Do an advance expectation setting before surprising your spouse with bloated bills. Talking money with your spouse becomes easy when you begin with personal budgeting each month. Do this each month and stick to it.

Hang together, financially !

There should be no reason for individuals who have decided to stay together for the rest of their lives to discuss everything under the sun but not money. The best step forward is to start talking about future goals. This topic flies with most couples.

You should start with talking about a dream vacation you want to take and move to important goals like retirement. It is only when both spouses begin to talk about their future financial goals do they appreciate what it will take to get them there. Goal based investing is a very easy topic to broach and leads to bonding among couples wanting to break the ice on money conversations.

Discussing your financial goals together and what challenges you might face on the road ahead is one of the most easiest ways on how to talk about money with your spouse. Try it.

Time your money talk

Given that money conversations can be a sticky wicket to bat on, make sure you do it when you are in the best of your spirits. It is one of the worst strategies to discuss about money with your spouse when both of you are edgy and in a fighting mood. Pick a time when you both will spark off the least and then discuss money.

While the timing is important, so is the frequency. Money discussions cannot be a one time event. They need to be at least monthly. It is in your monthly discussions that you can talk about spending patterns and how your savings and investments look.

Give in, you are anyway doomed

Last but not the least, remember that everyone makes mistakes. There will be times when one of you will spend more than required or save less than planned. Both the spouses need to learn to give in to each others demands and mistakes. Life is not perfect and you cannot make it a copybook story, not when you are married ! There will be bumps on the way and you need to learn to take it in your stride.

If one of you makes a mistake, discuss, let go and improve the next month. There is no use picking on a money mistake, if you do that, you are encouraging your partner to take the first step in not discussing money.

Talking money with your spouse is more of a mind set change than a checklist which you tick off each month.

If you accept that money means different to different individuals; that your spouse will spend on what she wants and not on what you want; that both of you will need to invest for your future as a team; that mistakes will happen and you need to learn to let go; that frequent discussions and budgeting are desirable, then you will surely make a great couple monetarily.

So how often do you talk about money with your wife or husband ?